Episode 11 – Security Maturity Purity: Purity (Part 5 of 5)

In this episode, Brett and Jake finish the series on Security, Maturity, Purity by discussing the meaning of purity as the quality of relationship we offer to others. Through personal examples, listeners are invited to be the leaders, husbands, and fathers God has designed them to be by making a sincere and ongoing gift of themselves to others.

Security Maturity Purity: Purity (Part 5 of 5)

Key Points:

  • Purity is making a gift of ourselves to another. It’s about loving well.
  • Sexual sin is about taking. Purity is about making a gift to the other.
  • Security and maturity are the foundations of self-gift (purity).
  • One of the greatest measures of a man is the quality of relationship he offers, not the quality of relationships he has with others. The measure is how well he loves.
  • A good king (leader, husband, father) is one who is oriented toward the other.
  • In the movie Gladiator, the difference between Commodus and Maximus is a good illustration of a good king and bad king.
  • We can do many different things that appear to be for others but can actually be for ourselves. Often others know when we are being selfish.
  • It’s possible to find it easier to self-gift at work rather than at home.
  • In John 13:3, John says that Jesus knew the Father had given all things into his hands and that he (Jesus) had come from God and was going to God. These are prime examples of security before purity (self-gift, washing the disciples feet).
  • In John 13:4, John describes Jesus taking off his outer robe and tying a towel around his waist. This is an image of maturity.
  • A good king (leader, husband, father), who has power, says, “Who can I bless?”
  • We can be on the lookout to bless when we personally know and have received Abba Father’s blessing.
  • The orphan is the opposite of the secure, mature, pure son because the orphan is about taking because he doesn’t know his father.
  • Leader, husband, father are three primary expressions of purity for men.
  • As a leader, our job is to remove obstacles so others can shine (flourish). Often these obstacles are hidden in the hearts and minds of the other.
  • Often people can walk around agnostic about themselves and yet leaders can offer them real life.

Discussion Questions:

  • What struck you about this episode?
  • What are some areas in your life where you are a gift to others? How does that impact those around you? How does make you feel?
  • If you’ve seen the movie Gladiator, in what ways are you like Commodus? In what ways are you like Maximus? Where do these manifest in your life?
  • Have you ever considered that you can do very simple things in your day that seem to be for others but are actually self-serving? What might some of those be?
  • Read John 13:3-5. Notice the realities that John mentions about Jesus before he washes the disciples feet? (The Father had given all things into His hands and that he had come from God and was going to God). How would your life be different if you knew this without any doubt?
  • Who are people in your life whom you can bless? What are some ways you can bless them? What holds you back from blessing them more?


  • “A true king comes into authority and knows that the privilege is not so he can now arrange for his comfort.” (John Eldredge. Fathered by God: Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You, p. 16)
  • “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him.” (John 13:3-5)
  • For more reading about our deep need for affirmation from others, consider reading Born Only Once by Conrad Baars. http://a.co/d/aBIJygJ