Episode 21 – Books We Need: The 5 Love Languages

Books we need - The 5 love languages

Brett and Jake start a new recurring series about books we need to read. In this episode, they discuss Dr. Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages and talk about the specific love languages and how life is better when our love tanks are full.

Key Points

  • Talking about difficult problems with a trusted friend can be helpful
  • Be careful of chronological snobbery
  • We can often love other people the way we like to be loved but that can doesn’t always help the situation
  • The 5 Love Languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, gifts
  • Physical touch isn’t just about sex
  • The goal is to learn your spouse or friend’s love language so your care for them is better received and more meaningful
  • We are made to love and be loved. We all have a love tank (bucket) and when it’s full we are more likely to be our truest, fullest self
  • The Sacrament of Marriage is a sacrament of service
  • Love is a language to be communicated and you have to speak in a language that your spouse/friend can understand
  • For each of the love languages there is an potential negative vice that has to be guarded against
  • The “gifts” love language is an expression that “I thought of you” not about million dollar presents 
  • The core recipe for love is to forget yourself and focus on the other

Discussion Questions:

  • What struck you from this episode?
  • If your spouse (or friend) showed you love that was meaningful what would that look like?
  • What are your two primary love languages?
  • What are your spouse’s/friends’ love languages?
  • Have you loved other people with your love language? How did that go?
  • Are you aware of your love tank? How do you know? What signs indicate your love tank is full/empty?
  • How full is your love tank these days? How full is your spouse’s/friends’?
  • How do you feel about reading this book with your spouse? 
  • If you want to express love, what do you do? 
  • While thinking about an overall healthy relationship, when you have you experienced feeling neglected? What did you want?