Episode 50 – Fathered By God | Book Study Part 4: Warrior & Lover

Episode 50 man in armor

Jake and Brett continue their book study series on Fathered By God and unpack to next stages in the masculine journey: warrior and lover. Learning that there are things worth fighting for and how to maturely engage beauty are essential to the heart of every man.

Guiding Quotes

Warrior – “It may take time, and require repeated provocation, but eventually a man must come to realize that there are certain things in life worth fighting for. Perhaps, when we appreciate the truth of this, we can better understand the heart of God.” (p88)

Lover – “As we think over the stages of the masculine journey, we find that the boy begins to understand Good as he learns right from wrong, and the warrior fights for what is True, but when a man comes to see that the Beautiful is the best of the three, then is the lover awakened.” (p127)

Key Points

  • God is a warrior God
  • Jesus is on the offensive in the incarnation
  • Christianity isn’t about being nice
  • The Church becomes impotent if men don’t become warriors
  • We are currently living in the Church militant
  • The heart of a warrior says, “I will not let evil have it’s way”
  • Passivity is not part of the warrior’s heart
  • There are distortions to the warrior: passivity and mindless aggression
  • The warrior’s mission is infused with wisdom
  • We can ask the Lord about the battles in our life. “Jesus, is this a battle you want me to fight?”
  • The primary way we are assault in through our minds, our thoughts and emotions
  • Beauty is what sets the lover apart
  • Knowing, loving, and being able to handle beauty are key to the stage of lover
  • Men can often hide behind reason and logic
  • It’s important to take notice of beauty
  • We can’t underestimate the power of beauty
  • We can get so caught up in battles that we fail to notice beauty 
  • Seeing the beauty if woman is good, it’s just meant to seeing as God sees
  • Moving from the beauty of woman to the beauty of God is a hard but necessary truth that we must learn
  • There is a critical difference between men as lovers and men as consumers
  • Holiness and masculinity aren’t about killing our desires. It’s about having those desires integrated and restored to how God originally intended them.
  • Being fully alive means having the lover fully alive in Christ

Discussion Questions

  • What struck you from this episode?
  • Have you noticed the subtle message sometimes seen in Christianity that the goal for men is to become “nice”? How does this message strike you? What do you think about it?
  • Where do you struggle with passivity?
  • What is a story from your life where you were a warrior?
  • When is a recent time you noticed beauty (other than a woman). What was it? Tell the story.
  • Where have you noticed the difference between being a lover and being a consumer in your life?


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