Episode 52 – Fathered By God | Book Study Part 6: Sage

Episode 52 - Older man folded hands

Jake and Brett finish their book study series on Fathered By God and discuss the Sage and offer some final thoughts. Good questions and conversations can draw out the wisdom of older men. The masculine journey is a quest arranged by God for your initiation. Stay with it!


Guiding Quotes

“It is a matter of presence. A sage does not have to be heard, as a warrior might, does not have to rule, as a king might. There is room in his presence for who you are and where you are. There is understanding. He has no agenda, and nothing now to lose. What he offers, he offers with kindness, and discretion, knowing by instinct those who have ears to hear, and those who don’t. Thus his words are offered in the right measure, at the right time, to the right person. He will not trouble you with things you do not need to know, nor burden you with things that are not yet yours to bear, nor embarrass you with exposure for shortcomings you are not ready yet to overcome, even though he sees all of that. For he is wise, and compassionate.” (p201)

Key Points

  • Sages are the fathers in our world
  • Sages love you but aren’t impressed by you
  • Sages sown their experience back into the hearts of younger men
  • Some sages we receive from through their books and others through personal relationships
  • Asking good questions of sages extracts their wisdom
  • You don’t have to find one man who can be your sage for everything
  • We need communities of fathers
  • Sages need to continue to do their own personal growth
  • We have to engage as men
  • We can’t live by fear … we can’t just play it safe
  • Masculine initiation is a quest arranged by God for your initiation
  • There are things in you that need to be dismantled and things that need to be healed
  • Our spouses can be a critical part of the healing journey for us
  • Stay with this!

Discussion Questions

  • What struck you from this episode?
  • Who are some sages in your life? How have they helped you?
  • What are some questions you could bring to a sage?
  • What holds you back from asking a safe to help you? 
  • Where do you need to engage?
  • Where are you playing it safe? What’s holding you back?


  • Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen
  • Becoming a King by Morgan Snyder

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